American Taxypayers Response to Chrysler's Super Bowl Ad: You're Welcome

Longest Super Bowl commercial in history. That's the word after Chrysler unleashed its Eminem hosted homage to Detroit onto the Super Bowl viewing audience. It's very Hollywood. And the people here in Detroit and the surrounding metro area, as well as born-n-breds living abroad, ate it up like ice cream on the 4th.
Cinematography wise, it was pure genius. Politically, though, and morally...not to mention financially? In poor taste. Chrysler is still very much in debt to the US government and, I might add, anything but an American company anymore. They are the poster company for precariously teetering on the edge of calamity.
And then there are the Detroit politics of it. The narrator of the commercial intones that Detroit 'has been to hell and back'. What exactly is the measure mark to qualify as being 'back'? Simply declaring you're back like the Backstreet Boys did? Last time I checked, Detroit was still in a free fall in all ways vital to survival and succeeding: education, financial, employment, crime, housing, the list goes on and Detroit is still failing in every category. Perhaps the ad agency is still under the impression that the auto industry alone defines the success/failure of the D.
Then there are the morals of it. Many people were quoted on local news stations saying the commercial brought them to tears. Which is pretty repulsive when a person cracks open the Detroit Free Press or turns on the local news and is confronted with all of the horrors and violence against innocents every day in Detroit. Less than a week after the Super Bowl, two people were arrested for child abuse after a child was thrown against a window so hard the entire window was cracked. And only a few weeks before, a lone gunman launched a heinous attack on a Detroit police station, opening fire on the officers working to protect the city. Save your tears for something that merits it, not a commercial that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy or defiant and smug about a city that's in full on decay in every fiber of its being.
Now the previous reasons don't amount to a hill of beans to anyone outside the state of Michigan. But the cost, and squandering, of taxpayer dollars should be noteworthy to every taxpayer in America. Bottom line is every single one of us picked up the tab for that balls to the wall commercial. And while some may be indifferent because companies need to advertise, I for one would prefer for Chrysler to keep its caviar tastes to itself until it is able to pay back the government and pay back Americans. They are stewards of money loaned to them to survive and thrive on and while advertisement is a prime example of what is needed to survive, the longest commercial in Super Bowl history with a top dollar celebrity as the star is not level headed stewardship. And while it's a nice red carpet walk and Oscar speech shout out for Detroit, it doesn't match up with reality and that's what Detroiters should be most concerned with.

Straws

Maybe it's the lingering frigid temperatures, maybe it's tundra fever but this week was the week of superficial annoyances bubbling to the surface, bordering on outrage. I think sometimes it's the order of things---people can only internalize so much and then it's the simplest things, paltry injustices that are the last straw.
Last night while reviewing the TV headlines, I came across an article stating that NBC released a statement saying that they were putting LOLA (Law & Order Los Angeles) on indefinite hiatus because of  restructuring. Further into the article ,which detailed why LOLA's expected return to prime time the first week of February, it was explained that half the cast including Skeet Ulrich whose detective main character has been an anchor in the burgeoning show had been let go. The LOLA Powers That Be were retooling the remaining characters and casting new ones. Alfred Molina's character who was a head honcho at the DA's office was being 'reassigned' to the detective beat (cause you know, that happens all the time in real life). All of this drama and the show's barely 6 months green.
After reading this, a lot of irritation started percolating in me. I have quite the history with L & O, being a loyal viewer since the early days (for both of us). Tried and true fan of the original series with occasional road trips into Criminal Intent country. So I was devastated when NBC went against its original promise of keeping L & O on for a record breaking 21st season, edging out Gunsmoke as the longest running TV series. Instead they bent over for the umpteenth time for whiny, insecure, only funny to look at Jay Leno in giving him the 10 o'clock spot on every week night. They also threw Southland, a phenomenal newbie cop drama to the wolves in their declaration of love to Leno. And I don't need to retell the gripping drama/soap opera that played out in real life because of that move. All I can say is that without it, Team Coco would have no meaning. And when Jay Leno's latest ego massage crashed and burned (like we all knew it would), NBC in all of its severe trangressions' humiliating glory had a lot of time slots to fill.
And that is where LOLA enters and from whence it was conceived. I had planned on hating it. L & O was always New York to me. NYC was as integral to the franchise as the haunting sound echoed between scenes or the comforting specter of Jerry Orbach. While NYC is edged by an ocean, its gritty streets were the forefront of the show, not coastline which made LOLA's ever present beaches extremely out of place. Or one would think. To this viewer, during the first 6 months, California's beaches gave the franchise another aspect and gave it a different edge. And Ulrich's no nonsense, by the book detective echoed the sensibility and rugged good looks of Benjamin Bratt while his wise cracking partner, a younger incarnation of the ornery yet lovable Lenny Briscoe. So what does reinventing LOLA halfway through a rocky first year mean for the latest L & O offspring? To me, nothing good. New series don't usually do retooling until after the first season wraps as it wants to create good buzz and reliable viewing ASAP. Viewers can't connect with a constant revolving door of characters and core premises. This speaks of frantic water treading or grasping at straws. And to more than impatient NBC, I doubt they will grant LOLA a mulligan. And NBC could have saved itself all of this time, trouble and money if it had just told Leno to shove off after his original 'retirement' and kept Jack McCoy and Company in operation.
My second grievance this week is a little more cerebral, having to do with the ongoing strike between the Detroit Symphony Orchestra's musicians and the DSO Powers That Be. The DSO announced wage cuts of 30% last fall at which time the musicians began their strike. And so the strike carried on through the holidays, crippling surrounding businesses like restaurants and killing one of their most important seasons. All this while the new curator at the Detroit Institute of Art (DIA) announced that he discovered and verified that more than a few paintings thought to be originals are fakes. What the hell is going on with the last gasps of culture in Detroit?

Back To The Future

I really have to wonder sometimes where people's heads are at. I'm beginning to think the vast majority of people are cruise controlling their way through their lives, leaving most of their thinking to our government. It's both frightening and discouraging that, as our country limps along, there are so many people who can't formulate linear thought processes in order to make worldview decisions. Learned helplessness perhaps? Or just paralyzing fear. Whatever the reason, older generations are showing the younger generations how in the face of crisis, Americans are great at doing nothing, cutting off their noses to spite their faces or proving Einstein's quote (the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results) to be true.
Case in point: the recent Congressional election in Michigan's 15th district. They re-elected incumbent John Dingell. And he is quite the incumbent. Dingell is 84 years old, he has been in Congress since 1955. Let that marinade for a moment. And then, for those of you who are old enough, reflect on everything politically and socially that has transpired since 1955 in this country. The revolutions that have rocked our population, the wars, the JFK and MLK assassinations, the moon landing, the civil rights movement, the end of the Soviet Union, the technology boom. And then ask yourself how someone who is clearly ravaged by age can aggressively move his constituents through the 21st century?
And that is what I find most disturbing about the voting population of Congressional district 15 in Michigan. That they are so impaired and fearful of the reality bearing down on all of us like a train that they cling to a man who is unbelievably out of date. I have deep reservations about 84 year olds driving, I certainly wouldn't want them making my political decisions for me in Washington. Would America elect an 84 year old president? And how dangerous would that be?
As intelligent and wise as Abraham Lincoln was as a president, even if we had the ability to somehow magically zap him into power in today's world, I would be against it. Yes his morals and ethics were admirable but he'd lack the 21st century savvy that the job requires for our country today. 84 year olds like Dingell have long since retired from their respective careers, their minds aren't in any condition to tackle Washington decisions. And they also lack future perspective. It is reckless and dangerous to the welfare of the American people to put geriatrics in charge of designing and revolutionizing our health care and Social Security systems when many of them won't be around for even a decade of that time. What's their motivation for making sure the systems benefit future generations and not just the ones using the system currently? The answer is none.
At a time when Michigan desperately needs change, the people of the 15th district have decided someone with a 1955 perspective is good enough for them.

Be True To Your Blue Light Special

Growing up in a Rust Belt state, a person learns to say goodbye to those old familiar places. It's a here today gone tomorrow climate. Businesses who can usually get bought out by a conglomerate and those who can't, well they pack and leave in the dead of night. Farmer Jack's, Winkleman's, Mervyn's, Perry Drugs, Arbor Drugs, Montgomery Ward's, the list just goes on and on depending on how old you are. Nationally Sears squeaked through a bankruptcy whole except for the elimination of the Sears Christmas catalog, a Sears staple. When K-mart hit the skids in the 90s, the ship didn't appear that it would make it. It was acquired by Sears a number of years ago and they have both admirably buffered each other since then but survival seems suspect.
Why the American retailer history? Lately I've been feeling a retail based angst which sometimes bubbles up into a momentary retail rage. When you live in an economic wasteland like Michigan is, the past--the failed past--lies in the rubble around you. You're constantly reminded of it. When you're young, stuff like that doesn't bother you that much. You're too focused on running ahead. As you get older, you still keep moving forward but you look behind more often. When I see a K-mart advertisement now, I feel a lot of sadness. K-mart was one of the neatest places to go with my mom when I was eight years old. I could buy (well my mom could) sneakers, a new book, a stuffed animal and even a Coca-Cola Icee (if I was well behaved). My first bike was bought there. I began going to K-mart more regularly after my grandma died a few years back. When she was alive, I would bump into her there from time to time. Older people like routine and stores they can count on for some reason or another and so she was a frequent K-mart shopper. After she passed, I went in just to remember her and of my childhood. At the same time, my discount mass retailer options were beginning to annoy me in the worst way. I had been (practically) forced to shop a few times at Wal-mart, a store that I refuse to give any of money to and those coerced retail experiences only reaffirmed my dislike for the retailer. Target, my usual go-to guilty pleasure, has left me high and dry in recent months, chronically out of stock in the products I need. Plus somehow it has morphed into a nonstop daycare center which makes shopping a test of endurance in the face of supreme aggravation and annoyance. I'm someone who likes to register complaints but in discount mass retail who do you lodge complaints with and isn't it like spitting into the wind? The futility left me even more annoyed, with current economic conditions considered, until I finally realized that retail is picking the lesser of two (or three) evils. So yeah there weren't PowerPoint reasons for me to do all my sundry shopping at K-mart. It's not always more convenient, their prices are comparative with their peers and so is their customer service. But it makes me feel like I'm contributing a little something in memory of a lost childhood memory (plus they have a loyalty card). And it's not like I hoped there would be a stark difference in their competitors' balance sheets because of my absence (because obviously there wouldn't be) but I feel like I'm finally behaving like a consumer on my terms and not as a hostage.

One Is Too Many

Today my sister received the news from a childhood classmate that another one of their classmates had passed away and tragically he had taken his own life. She texted me the news and I sat in stunned silence. I used the word 'another' because between the two of us we know ten people that we went to school with who have taken their lives and to us, that number is mind numbing. These were good people who we spent most of our formative years with. The joke tellers, the homework helpers, the laughter sharers and yet in the end none of it seemed to matter or help. Each one of these individuals felt like they didn't have any other options left.
I remember when a high school classmate took his life in the spring of our senior year, it was a jarring wake up call amid the seemingly neverending backpatting and good times that pepper the final year of school. The message that some students feel their life is already set in an ominous stone had broken the Iron Curtain of sheltered suburbia and I remember the message that I took away from it was that nothing last forever and there are always options if you are willing to ask for help. Five years later I lost a friend to suicide, one of the most intellgient and funniest guys I have ever known. In the years since my sister and I have grieved the loss of several more friends and classmates. Lives cut short sometimes without rhyme or reason. Experts claim that there are signs as if there is some kind of formula that needs to be in place before something like this can happen but I can say that without reading someone's mind, it seems to catch us all sleeping and totally unaware. And that is at the base of me and my sister's frustration. There is nothing more we would like to do than help people we know who believe they've run out of answers but how are we to really know? How are we to know who is at risk? There's a common saying that goes you never know what is really going on in someone's home or head and the truth in that statement makes preventing suicide and recognizing when loved ones need people (and professionals) to reach out to them, all the more difficult.

When Is A Journalist Not A Journalist (and other riddles)

There is a scene in the classic Disney movie Alice In Wonderland where Alice happens upon the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. At some point during their tea party centered ravings, the Mad Hatter poses the question to Alice: why is a raven like a writing desk? It's a nonsense question that Lewis Carroll penned in his book. There was to be no answer but writers, scholars and everyday people have created a variety of possible answers to this question meant to have no refrain to echo back. Detroit Free Press columnist (as well as radio personality, author and journalist at large) Mitch Albom tried to answer a similar question in a recent column that began by discussing the recent media dust up between Andrew Breitbart (of ACORN expose fame) and Shirley Sherrod (formerly of the U.S. Department of Agriculture) and video footage that Breitbart released where Sherrod admitted having racist attitudes towards white farmers seeking aid from the department in the 80s. Breitbart did not release a portion of tape that followed where Sherrod says that she went on to help white farmers seeking aid and was glad she did. The mainstream media has since pounced on Breitbart with a number of accusations ranging from race baiting to the issue of truth in journalism.
What Albom was most incensed about was not what concerned me greatest which was the idea of racism and racist attitudes within a department of the government. The government, its departments and various agencies are supposed to be colorblind and treat all of its citizens fairly and equally. The fact that these personal attitudes arose in Ms. Sherrod, even if they weren't acted upon, needed to be addressed and corrected. Personal beliefs and attitudes have no place within the federal government (as the separation of church and state is constantly pointing out ad nauseum). Albom, along with most other mainstream journalists, despise Breitbart for being an outsider who took a page from their own handbook. Albom and his ilk are toiling away at a dying media. The public has become disgusted with the fabrication of truth and facts that has become so rampant in mainstream media and have sought to stay informed through other alternative, less costly methods. Enter Internet media and Internet journalists (among them bloggers like Breitbart). As far as the mainstream public is concerned, mainstream media is a self-serving lot and the beauty of living in a society with freedoms, if you don't like the government mouthpiece press (hello NBC!), you can go elsewhere to spend your cash or create your own press. They can't say the same in Cuba or North Korea. Of course they have bigger problems like surviving national poverty to deal with.
Albom argues in his column that bloggers aren't real journalists (why do I feel a pitch for unionization coming on?) and that Breitbart is dangerous. The truth is the media is still pissed at Breitbart for taking ACORN down and emphasizing the longtime connection between ACORN and their Savior-In-Chief. And the fact that he used guerrilla journalism, something mainstream journalists believe they had patented, against their agendas only enrages them more. And they are going to crush him however long it takes and whatever it takes. That's the oath of the mainstream journalist after all. The following are my musings as I emailed to Albom.

Mitch,
With all due respect, your indignation and outrage at Breitbart in your Sherrod column had to be a tad inflated right? Because if not, I'm really shocked that a seasoned journalist like yourself can still look at mainstream media (forgetting the Internet media and blogging for a moment) like it hasn't already permanently sullied itself. Journalism was fact manipulation media long before bloggers like Breitbart were even conceived. Print journalism is nothing but collecting subjective quotes to weave a story and the nightly news is the arrangement of carefully orchestrated sound bites. And though you as a mainstream journalist would like nothing more than to distance yourself from those knock-off journalists known as Internet bloggers (per your column), Internet journalism is the mainstream media's illegitimate offspring, out committing sins of the father so to speak.


I'm 28 years old and it's been like that for as long as I can remember. There hasn't been a time in my life when I took mainstream journalism at face value. And I put Internet media and their journalists through the same sieve. I view both as being equally without merit. I look at someone like Dan Rather and the scandal he created some years back, having to leave his career disgraced because of disregarding facts, and I think about all his years as a journalist and how many other stories he must have dirtied or outright fabricated.

What I'm trying to say is that your anger is 30 years too late and it's misdirected. Breitbart is just the latest manifestation of the world's second oldest profession. If you had said that it was throwing gasoline on the fire regarding race relations in America today or shook your finger (like my father does) at Generation X and said the whole stinking generation is nothing more than a bunch of godless mercenaries with no respect for anyone, I could understand your argument. But Breitbart's and Rather's methods aren't so different. Manipulation through media.

Race to the Bottom: Michigan's Intelligence Freefall Continues

This past week it was announced that Michigan had not made it to the next round of finalists for the coveted Race To The Top education funding that the White House is dangling in front of state governments like a golden carrot on a stick. Immediately Governor Jennifer Granholm issued her standard and underwhelming official statement of disappointment and the finger pointing blame game ensued, most of it laying at the feet of the MEA (Michigan Education Association) union whose political muscle and enforcement ensured that a vague, unaccountable proposal was submitted to Education Czar Arnie Duncan. So once again education in Michigan takes a backseat due to its political officials' disinterest in educating its constituents, its unions desire to keep the status quo and its citizens welcomed ignorance and great interest in only things of a vice nature. In layman's terms, Michigan wants to keep itself stupid for a variety of reasons.
Recently I had to take a certification exam that was made available at no cost to residents who had been laid off from their employers. It was being proctored at two locations, both of which were 20 plus miles away. I called ahead to inquire what I should bring to the test and was told to bring a calculator for the mathematics portion of the exam. Out of habit (from at least a decade's worth of standardized testing experience) I brought several number 2 pencils. I was also told to arrive 15 minutes early for exam instructions. I arrived to find myself the only person under 30 years old in a group of 20. Most of the people taking the test were middle aged men and that wasn't a surprise since most employees in industries that have closed up shop in Michigan and 21st Century America (manufacturing, automotive) are men who are now in career transition. What surprised me was how ill equipped the group was for the exam and I'm not talking about exam content readiness. Right from go, the time the exam was set to begin was pushed back 25 minutes as we waited for one person on the attendance list to show up. The woman was well into her 60s and offered no apology for holding up the class when she eventually wandered into the class. The proctor didn't seem to care either. The exam was starting to feel like a graduation open house. Show up whenever. Two other people, who were nursing students, brought calculators and the same amount brought pencils. The standardized exam answer sheet, known as the trusty Scantron form used in schools K-12, colleges and skill certification exams nationwide, was handed out. That's when the disconnect happened. Myself and the two nursing students were the only ones who knew how to fill out a Scantron form. A middle aged melee ensued as people began to react to the Rubik's cube that was handed to them. It's actually a pretty self explanatory form but the proctor still spent the next 20 minutes guiding the class through filling out the preliminary info on the Scantron (name, DOB, etc).  What takes 20 minutes to say? Well plenty when everyone talks over the proctor! I was astounded at how the minute the proctor said she would explain, everyone piped up seemingly repeating over and over how they didn't know what this was and oh, did they mention that they don't have a pencil? Well they don't. The proctored exam had turned into chaos.
I hung my head in my embarrassment since essentially this generation (and, gulp, the generation preceding it!) is running the state. No wonder the state is the mess to end all messes that it is. We used to snicker at the kids that showed up the first day unprepared for school. No writing tablets, no paper, no pencils or pens. They just sat there expectantly waiting for it to magically appear before them. Now it all makes sense because their parents are showing up to Life every day completely unprepared. No problem solving skills, no active listening abilities, none of the responsibilities assumed when you become adults. They show up empty handed and empty headed looking expectantly at the person in front of them, waiting to be handed supplies, their marching orders, essentially their lives.