The Etiquette Pitfalls of Free WiFi

Last week I was having breakfast with a relative at Panera so we could catch up. Like any work day morning, this breakfast depot was in a state of controlled chaos. Anything that involves lining up to obtain food and drink seems to throw people in a kind of frenzy. As if they were Frenchmen and Marie Antoinette had just shouted 'Let them eat cake!' Michigan is an overweight state, obesity reigns supreme here so no one is going to starve to death because Panera ran out of Apple Crunch muffins. But the reaction from people is as if the cashier just ordered them to hand over their children. Horrified and desperate.
Anyhow this particular Panera had a strange blend of patrons. The one closer to where I live is mainly young professionals in the morning getting their breakfasts to go and moms in the afternoon lunching with friends. This Panera had a lot of senior citizens on their laptops, taking advantage of Panera's free WiFi (which I have used in the past and is super handy). It's kind of bemusing to watch older people surf the Internet. It really takes me back to 1995 when the World Wide Web concept was first floated to us at my junior high school. And back then YouTube was still light years away!
Despite the influx of senior citizens mainlining technology, the dining area was loud and noisy and the tables are close together so our conversation became a mix of shouts and mutters depending on the topic of discussion and current decibel level in the room. The both of us were sitting at a tiny cafe table and I was breaking apart my muffin (no plastic cutlery to be found on the premises--so much for etiquette) and drinking my hot chocolate when what appeared to be a two person camera crew lumbered past our table. I say camera crew because they had so many bags with them that it would be safe to conclude that they were about to break out a video camera with scores of extension cords and other paraphernalia and start broadcasting. Alas, no Hollywood break for me, it was not a camera crew. A man and woman in their 50s were shoving two cafe tables together and setting up their laptops. Coffees in hand, they began unpacking their bags but I had already turned back to my conversation about layoffs at my current employer. The conversation continued on for another couple minutes when I looked down and was shocked to see the man trying to crawl under our table to plug his adapter plug into the electrical socket located on the wall just to the left of our table. In the process he had knocked over my purse, the contents starting to tumble out. And like Frick and Frack, the woman was not far behind the man armed with her own adapter plug. I didn't know what to do first---scoop up the contents of purse and make sure I hadn't been pick pocketed by the worst cat burglar in history or ask him if my shoes were interfering. Neither the man nor the woman ever uttered a word to us, a quick excuse me or even tossed us a sheepish apology. That's spoiled Baby Boomers for ya. I love my dearly departed grandparents to the moon and back but I have a lot of bones to pick with their generation in regards to their past parenting techniques. But I digress.
Because this two person A-Team decided to upend my nice breakfast with a member of my family, I had no choice but to twist around in my seat to give them my patented Evil Eye. That's when I saw it. It was like Office Max threw up in the corner. They had all kinds of crap unpacked and spread out everywhere, even on the floor. Again these were two tiny cafe tables shoved together, not a booth. It was evident that they were setting up shop, basing their home office here for an indeterminate amount of time, coming to you live from Panera Bread!!
Two things. Three things actually: 1. If you're going to take up real estate at a free WiFi eatery for an indeterminate amount of time, buy a freaking meal. Coffee buys you a half hour tops. Quit being a cheapskate. It's rude to other customers and the establishment. 2. If you have to inconvenience another patron because you're being a socket hog or you arrived during their peak hours, the utmost politeness is required. If I want to use my laptop at a WiFi establishment, I either find a table with an adjacent socket or I consider myself SOL and stay as long as my battery holds out. And 3. be realistic. I have known individuals in the past (and perhaps presently) that set up a WiFi command post at Panera or Starbucks for four or five hours. That's ridiculous. I know the economy sucks and that the recession and layoffs are pinching everyone and free WiFi is a gift from the gods but the proprietors (even if it's a corporation) don't owe it to you. Make a list of things you need to get accomplished and stick to it. Be efficient. If you need four or five hours truly, you need to get acquainted with your local library. They encourage creepers. Which is what you look like after four or five hours.

The One Thing FarmVille Is Missing

Many people living in this country today have not had the experience of growing up in a family that has an agricultural background. Though most of my family is from Southeast Michigan, my great grandfather grew up on a farm on the west side of the state and one of my grandmothers grew up on a farm in Michigan's Thumb. Farming is an all consuming kind of employment. It never ends which is why it's more a lifestyle than job. You never punch out, shut the computer down or ask your co-worker to cover for you. It's arduous work and it involves the whole family. People forget about that. FarmVille makes it seem so cutesy, television glamorizes it. I am the first to admit that I don't think I could hack it for a day. But I don't forget their sacrifices and I don't forget the important work they do, that is vital to mankind's survival. If it was my responsibility to grow or raise my own food, I'd starve plain and simple. As much as I love having a summer vegetable garden, by July I don't know whether to cry or just burn the mess I've made and salt the earth to ensure I don't repeat myself the following summer.
Farms have a place in our society and they always should have a place. And it shouldn't be on the outskirts. Radicals have demonized conventional farming as environmentalism, animal rights and the organic movement have become so trendy that they have spread like swine flu. While I do think organic farming has due merit, conventional farming remains a safe, affordable way for average people to have access to food. The vast majority of Americans cannot afford the harvests of organic farming. And the costs are too much for farmers, they aren't making money hand over fist.
That is why the concept of farm subsidies by our 'grab a little more' government has always been difficult for me to digest. I am the first person to advocate for farmers and how they need support not only from their communities but from the government. Tax breaks yes but subsidies no. Farmers are businessmen, they are business owners just like anyone who has a store on Main Street. To grow their business, to create more economic growth, they need tax breaks. What they don't need is the government paying them to leave their land undeveloped or the government to continue to feed a farm that simply isn't being managed properly. If a farm isn't profitable because its business model is terrible or there is no business model, then the farm shouldn't continue and the government should not throw good money after bad year after year. I think permanent tax breaks should be given to farmers and grants to farmers who have experienced temporary hardship, be it natural or unnatural. But I recognize that my idea is still problematic because it involves more government which clearly helps no one except the government by getting government embedded more in private citizens' lives and businesses. Because in order to evaluate a farm's need, the government would have to create some kind of criteria as to what qualifies a farm as one that has temporary hardship. And as Americans have bore witness to in the past few years, more recently with TARP and the inception of socialized medicine, the people running our country should not be creating any criteria for businessmen, corporations or private citizens. Their criteria is never objective, it's always subjective and they are never looking out for the best interest of taxpayers or people who value their freedom.
Obama plans to do away with farm subsidies, supposedly due to corruption and a high degree of fraud within what has been called the largest corporate welfare program. That's all well and good, I'm all for rooting out costly corruption wherever it may be and I think that calling it the largest corporate welfare program is fairly accurate but what about Wall Street? What about TARP? What about the all of the phony concern from Washington over making sure the financial industry is policed effectively. Obama is not a fan of conventional farming or animal husbandry and most of his supporters mimic his disdain for these agricultural lifestyles rooted in what liberals call 'fly over country' so I do take offense to him singling out this industry and going after it with a meat cleaver while he and the rest of Washington is in bed with the financial industry. Government needs to be concerned with the future success of farming but needs to go about it in a way that encourages the farmer (businessman) to expand his business so he can increase profits as well as yields. With food borne illnesses and crop contamination rampant in today's global agricultural society and no way for the United States to hold other countries to our levels of sanitation, we must grow more of our food internally (within this country) and locally so that the quality can be monitored and managed effectively.

Thank You For Polluting

Michigan is not a green state. I hate to break it to the environmental community out there but it never will be. Its residents aren't so much clueless as they are indifferent. They don't care. I have witnessed so many drivers sling fast food bags out the window as they drive down the road that it's commonplace. And on their part, it's effortless. As easy as tossing a cigarette butt out the window. The state has made it really easy for residents to pick up after themselves, especially in Southeast Michigan where many communities offer curbside recycling with liberal content guidelines. All alcohol and pop bottles have a ten cent return refund (remember the infamous Seinfeld episode?) and yet a fresh supply of strewn cans and bottles reappear weekly on my lawn and on the street. The state even accepts cash from Canada to take their trash. Due to homeland security issues and because the state of Michigan was unaware of what types of refuse they were accepting, legislation brought by Senator Debbie Stabenow to end Cash for Trash The practice is being tapered but the idea that it was in place to begin with shows the length at which Michigan will mortgage its ecological future for the promise of money.
I never gave Michigan's slovenly state much though until I traveled out West and witnessed the pristine highways and streets in Nevada. Beyond being aesthetically pleasing, it gave me the impression that the people of Nevada took pride in the land. It's rather heart breaking that a state rivaling Michigan in unemployment and the pinnacle of self indulgence still manages more accountability for its trash habits than Michiganders do. The 'Can't Someone Else Do It?' entitlement slogan ridiculed in an old Simpsons episode rings true for the Mitten state. Whether it can be attributed to the union influence on the metropolitan mindset or the influence of big government, residents have left it up to the elusive 'someone else' to pick up after them while they gorge themselves on a never ending binge of consumerism.
Barack Obama made a stop in Warren, Michigan last year touting green job creation, urging supporters that Michigan should take advantage of solar power by installing solar panels. The crowd (made up of who I would assume were Michigan residents) cheered loudly and from the boisterous cheering it was evident that neither the President nor the crowd for the matter had spent much time in Michigan, a state that boasts an average of only 150-170 days of sun a year. Wind turbines were planted like trees along the shore of Lake Huron in Michigan's Thumb region, an agricultural farming community, to harness wind power. Not the happy wooden Dutch windmills that immediately come to mind but scary, Stars Wars-esqe metallic windmills that ominously dot the horizon. I have seen them up close and it's unnerving, although I'm not sure what is more unsettling: the dairy cows loitering around them in the fields, the horrible whooshing sound they make or the fact that the landowners are being paid five thousand dollars a month to have them on their land. Never mind that the electricity doesn't stay local, it is sent to the affluent Traverse City region upstate but nearby residents have complained about the vibrations and noise from the mills making them ill. But money talks and in this poverty stricken state, five thousand dollars buys a lot of words.
Most residents of Southeast Michigan are aware of the trash issue in Detroit. Or should I say issues. Trash pick up can be inconsistent and that's the trash that is bagged at the curb. The trash in empty lots, in front of eviction houses, in and around abandoned houses has taken on a life of its own (and at least a few ZIP codes). Residents routinely call up local TV stations and invite a camera crew out to survey disaster zone after disaster zone while their complaints to the city about rat infestations (one among many trash related issues) fall on deaf ears. Usually the TV expose shames the city into a quick cleanup of that one tiny corner of Detroit that will start accumulating tires, furniture and other garbage the very next week. But to be fair the city is looking like Beirut and conducting itself in a similar war zone fashion so when they are unable to reign in violence of every kind, trash is probably pretty low on their priorities list. When former Mayor Ken Cockrel wanted to implement a trial curbside recycling program in Detroit and the current Mayor Dave Bing is talking about shrinking the city and using the abandoned outer lying areas as urban farmlands, I have to laugh. Talk about putting the cart before the horse--the residents are unable to respect each other enough to stop shooting, robbing, raping and killing each other. How can they respect the land and the earth when they can't even respect fellow human beings? That is the bottom line. If the people of Michigan took pride in themselves, they would take pride in their surroundings.

Move Over Satan, Idle Hands Are Now Terrorism's Tools

The why of terrorism is a question that the media beats like a drum. Their answer to it is ever changing. In light of the most recent (and foiled) attack on American in Times Square by Faisal Shahzad who is, chillingly, a naturalized U.S. citizen, the answer of the hour seems to be boredom. Yes boys and girls, look out because idle hands and a recession mixed with a series of bad financial choices may lead you straight into the throes of terrorism.
Journalists from the AP and AOL News are now blaming banality and the dashed dreams of a parent as causes for Shahzad's downward spiral into terrorism. Eleven years ago this past spring when two violent, antisocial teens picked off classmates and teachers in a horrific school massacre, journalists pointed the finger at bullying and guns which shifted the blame off of the students themselves (and their penchant for violence) as well as their parents and onto commonplace incidents and inanimate objects. Now the media is blaming something that has happened to millions of Americans, the loss of a job, a home and money, for why Shahzad bought a SUV with cash, loaded it up with fertilizer rigged to act as an explosive and parked it in the middle of busy Times Square. Neighbors and acquaintances describe as nothing special with some animosity towards President Bush but from all accounts he did exhibit antisocial behavior.
The question remains why Immigration was unable to detect this antisocial behavior when Shahzad applied to become a citizen. There is a difference between being reticent and antisocial and trained psychologists should be able to make the distinction. I wonder how much (if any) of the citizenship process is based on psychological examination. Criminal background checks only do that, check the past. Our American Immigration sector needs to be checking past, present and future.
It sickens me that the media is using the economy and the recession as cause for acts of terrorism instead of calling evil by its name, evil. Of course it's not surprising since it took the White House and the media almost a week to actually call the Times Square attempted attack by ITS name, terrorism. It sickens me because it devalues and debases the millions of American citizens who love this country but are going through the hardest of times. Lost jobs, lost houses, lost wealth, lost lives. Living in poverty or with family/friends because of their situations. Driving thousands of miles each to a job far from their families. They're hurting, they're depressed, they are at the end of their ropes. But they say hello and smile on the street, they hug their kids, they help those around them even though they themselves need help. They put one foot in front of the other, they get up every morning, they push forward. They don't seek to blow up landmarks or public buildings. They don't want to cause mass bloodshed on innocents. They don't desire the destruction of this country. And for the media to lump Shahzad in with these hardworking and God fearing Americans is the lowest of the low. I don't often find political common sense on SNL but Amy Poehler and Seth Myers said it best on this past week's episode. Nothing in me believes that socioeconomic strife is the cause of Shahzad's terrorism but it falls in neatly with our mainstream media's Socialist agenda.